running on empty? sometimes you can just keep going...

A couple of weeks ago I found myself driving to work (which is unusual in itself considering I'm a firm believer of walking where ever possible!) and as I came to stop at some traffic lights I noticed several similarities between my car and my life!

For a start I drive an old R reg Vauxhall Corsa. It's only a 1.2 so as you can appreciate, in order to over take I need to be travelling on a decline! I believe that rain is responsible for keeping the outside of my car clean and as long as it continues getting me from A to B I need not worry too much.

That said, sat at the traffic lights I realise that (for the last month anyway) I've been pottering around with hardly any petrol. Trying to save a few pennys I decided to use my car as little as possible and find the needle quivering very comfortably in the red. Now, I'm the sort of person to remedy a petrol issue as soon as the gauge gets even remotely close to the red but circumstances this year have forced me to see just how long I can get away with avoiding petrol stations and the inevitable rant that prices induce.

From the wobbling needle no longer even trying to leave the red I start looking at all the other neglected parts of my car: the crack in the windscreen that has gradually inched its way along to a length of about  eight inches, which now makes me nervous every time I'm driving when there's heavy rain fall! The temperature dial that actually just slides out of the device if pulled rather than turned; wing mirrors that have been replaced so many times due to the bastards that find it amusing to smack them off after a few drinks late at night, that I just can't get them into quite the right position anymore; and finally the swinging bonnet leaver that dangles around my foot as I drive (instead of fitting snugly against the inside of the car it came off in my hand months ago and ever since I have to use a pair of pliers to pull the cable to release the bonnet catch).

Little bits of rust have started to appear here and there, the tyres have cracks and there's condensation on the inside of the windscreen during the colder months....

...but with all this it still keeps going. It's remarkable. I actually have genuine appreciation for all the abuse I put my car through and yet it continues to start when I turn the key and gets me to my destination without any problems.

That's not to say my car and I haven't fallen out from time to time. About eighteen months ago it decided to give up if I dared slowing down to first gear. Needless to say approaching any kind of junction or roundabout or traffic congestion turned me into a nervous wreck driving round London (drivers really show no mercy on the roads here!) and I would pump the accelerator and speak words of encouragement to my car in the vain hope that on that occasion it would still keep going. After the last shred of trust was lost between us I took it to the garage. Turned out one part of the engine had stopped talking to another part of the engine so said engine thought it was permanently cold, provoking bursts of petrol to pump through when there was really no need. £150 lighter and problem sorted.

If only life were that simple!

So sitting at the traffic lights, I'm thinking about my car and how, at that moment it reflected my entire being. Or how I felt about myself anyway.

I'm literally runnning on empty. And yet I still keep going, getting up every morning and going to bed every night, breathing in and out depsite the abuse I put my mind and body through during the day. No one said running your own business was easy. I didn't expect it to be. I relished the challenge of making something that I had created a success. I still do. But I do believe it comes at an energetic price.

Not only do I put pressure on myself to work seven days a week (even if it's only catching up with emails on a Sunday) but I'm constantly berating myself for not working hard enough to get the results I want more quickly. What's even more crazy is that I do this with everything. From brushing my teeth so frantically I get toothpaste on the mirror to trying to beat the last time it took me to get from Middlesex to Warwickshire when going to visit my folks. I don't seem to be able to pull out of this crazy competition where I am the only competitor!

And like my car, the cracks are beginning to show. My body's petrol gauge has been shaking on empty for a long time. My gym training has become gruelling (and yet I still feel a need to enter races to motivate me to train harder, for longer), bags have taken up permanent residence under my eyes and my joints are having a shout out each morning after the previous day of massaging. But it has become abundantly clear that I have remarkable staminar. I simply just keep going. We all do. Granted, some are better at it than others but, whatever level you're operating at it's clear the brain will always override the body's warning signals.

The driver will continue to put the key in the ignition and expect the car to run no matter how little care and attention they have given it over the last year (or years!). We expect our body to function without problem despite the continual demands the brain makes whilst ignoring that niggling pain in our back, the constant headache or the insomnia.

And that's where I come in as a massage therapist. Deep tissue massage is so fantastic to help answer the body's requests for attention (even if the brain doesn't want to add the body to it's 'to-do' list). Where you will eventually need to take your car to the garage if the neglect is constant, so will you need to get your body 'serviced'. However, it's easy to get new car parts to replace those that really have given up once and for all, but not so easy to replace body parts!

I'm learning the hard way that the body needs a regular MOT more than my car does. I don't want my body to suddenly break down to a point of no return, so I need to fill the tank and get out of the red again. Even just a little care and attention will prevent me from ending up on the scrapheap  before my brain is ready to be there!

"Do as I say, not as I do" is a phrase that often comes to mind when I'm dispensing advice to clients during their massage treatment. Take that short break, have a duvet day, eat that bar of chocolate. Most importantly book in for that massage because otherwise one day you'll put the key in the ignition and there really won't be any petrol left in the tank. Now all I need to do is follow my own advice!